Lovers can (never ) be friends

Lovers can (never) be friends

I was recently thinking about what lessons I learnt this semester at university and of the many that popped up in my mind, the most striking was the realization that ‘friends with benefits’ doesn’t mean what it sounds like-is an oxymoron. You can either be friends or people with benefits, but not both! You’re probably thinking ‘this idiot is just talking crap’, but hear me out a little before you throw my stuff down the toilet (pun intended!)

Honestly, what is a friend? Someone whom you trust, respect, love (in a familial way) or look up to- you can’t deny that these are aspects you look for in a friend. So how does a FWB (friend with benefits) fit in with these attributes? Not very well, and to be honest, not in the way you want a true friend to fit the description!

Things happened this semester with people that I thought were my friends and now I realized that these people weren’t really friends- they were either more than, or less than, but never a real friend. If you can use someone for the ‘benefits’ without feeling, then clearly you have very little respect for them and chances are that you are not going to tell girl X your life secrets the net day when you guys are hanging out- if that FWB is merely there to benefit you!

I think that the point above was the rather obvious one, but the even more shocking one (for me at least) was that the FWB that you do end up telling your secrets are not really your FWB’s; they mean a lot more. You are probably repressing feelings for that person. Seriously, think about it- You are making out ( at the very least) with this person, and then you get cozy and start delving into each other’s secrets- sounds like a relationship to me.

If you think about, FWB are really one (or maybe, several) night stands with people you know you’ll see the next day- that’s messed up! It really is as cold as it sounds. Probably, in the FWB relationship, the two people are on opposite sides of this article. One cares too much and the other, not at all. Think about it, which one are you...?